The I's have it...

When I was younger, my life was much like that of a lower case i: short body, ideally useless to anyone but myself and a head (the dot on the "i") with seemingly too much hair on it that carried the brain of an intelligent adult. Yes, I was a small in stature, smart and a smartypants. Life carried me in different directions and thus the dot (or head on my shoulders) begin to wave back and forth like a bobble head doll. The more I got into trouble for things I most often did not do, the more I tried to hang out with so called friends who were more like frenemies, the more I tried to fit in , the more my issues--which turned into troubles, which turned into burdens--weighed down on the dot on my eye; the bobble head (if you will). Tears ran, frustration came, and of course the proverbial wondering of "why, Lord" but during this time, I learned to stand still. I focused on things that matter: my studies (hence, my MA in English), my family and I spent alot of time alone. To some, that time alone may have seemed like i was left out, undesirable, strange. On the outside, I was. On the inside, i was becoming I and didn't really understand how or why. Now, as I type, I get it. It was to become much more than a friend, a co-worker, a part of society. It was to embrace all that will lie ahead for me: endometriosis, stubborn friendships, sisterhood, pain, the experience of being overjoyed. Today, I'm connected, filled with understanding of how and why things happen and the ability to accept change and circumstance. I said all of this to say, the I's have it. As the "i" and as "I", there's a shadow that's always there--God. If you don't understand why you seem to "bobble" through life and nothing seems to come together, ask Him. If you're concerned with how to make the connection for yourself, ask Him. Guaranteed, you'll be glad you did and satisfied with the answer.