Praise

Yesterday, it was all I could do to sit still and just worship. I got my shout on right here in my office. I realized (again), after praising Him, that praise is the ultimate for God. When you give Him all of you and hold nothing back--He recognizes you and loves you more for it. That love may be shown in many different ways: financially, more spiritual gifts, or just the sunshine on your head instead of rain.

I see praise this way: I'm laying the foundation, the complete foundation for what He has in store for me. Together, God and I are carpenters over my life; making me over and rebuilding a better model of myself. It's like setting up the red carpet, the big bright lights, movie style ropes that separate you from the rest. You're carried in a limo: a car that surrounds you in darkness with inferior gifts of crystal glasses, alcoholic drinks and music with high sexual overtones. There's a partition separating you from the driver, but ultimately you are extremely alone in the back. Sometimes were held in the "limo position" for a time, reason and place. He's restoring me getting me ready for the big reveal. When all seems lonely and a long time, God has the driver stop the car, open the door and let the new, God-improved "Bea" step out. He's there the entire time this remake and reveal is going on. He's taken my hand and guiding me through the process. I'm no longer what I used to be, what others thought of me. On His prepared red carpet, I'm a stunning image and fully restored example of what He has in store for me. No worry, just relief and relaxation. No adjustments here or there, just enjoyment of the time He's prepared. It's a delicate life filled with balance, prayer, dedication, hope, success (not necessarily financial), and being humble. What's I'm saying is: when you praise with all might, all power, all cells in your body--you're sure to walk the red carpet life with God.

God, my hair may be a little rough, my clothes sometimes shabby--but I'm determined to reach the red carpet with You.

Safety

My mother tells me that as a baby I rolled off my aunt's bed--and under it. When a cousin asked to see me and could not find me on the bed they found me, still asleep. After a frantic search, there I was under Aunt Mary's bed, still sleep. No bruises, no crying, no worries--I was just fine.

It's amazing how something so small can turn into something so big and then back to nothing. Why do we have to grow frantic at the drop of a dime? Is it to make us realize what we have? Is it to make us aware of ourselves and to be more cautious? Yes, but there's more to it than that. I think it's to remind us we're in His safety. The day I fell, I could have been hurt to the point of brain damage, but I made it anyway. I was a preemie, so a big fall like that could have been worse than others. Instead, I remained in the safety of the Lord.

Today, I'm still here and in His care. There are no physical reminders of that day, only the story. I still keep it with me to remind me at any point in time--at the drop of a different dime-anything can change. For the things that remain constant and keep me straight, I'm grateful. For the aggravation and headaches that come more often than I'd like, I'm grateful.

What can you be grateful for today?

Bullying

First, let's address the fact that it doesn't just happen to people who reveal their sexual orientation. But that's all you see online: they got hurt because they're gay. I was bullied for quite sometime, and just like the other survivors--I'm better, I'm stronger and a fighter. To the ones who bullied me, tore me apart, made me cry for their own self gratification--it's over. I no longer have nightmares about what you're going to do to me. I no longer care about your life; only trying to live mine to the fullest.

I've found that people who commit ignorant acts do so because they have nothing else to do. There is a point of suffering within his/her own life that he/she has not identified. Just let it go and deal with the matter. To bully is to be selfish and to show you really don't have enough going on for yourself. Nice...

For me, my faith carries me. I realize that the body I live in will only be here for some time and then I'll go "home". A famous author once said she let go when she realized it was holding back her joy. So true. How can you know what it is to smile just because if you're always worried about your shadow or what's next. Is it really your job to worry? Once you let go--I mean really let go--your shoulders will lose weight and your body will feel like silly puddy...Why? You've held so much in for so longer (anger, hate, bitterness, nervousness, fear) that your natural body almost doesn't what to do. It will feel strange at first, like something is wrong. But trust me--it's a great feeling.

The key is to make this feeling true knowledge. "What do you mean, Bea?" Thought you'd never ask...Feelings only last for a short time. Get paper and a pen and just take time to write down how you felt and what was going on at the time you let go. Keep a journal of that feeling and the other good feelings to follow. When the bullying starts again (and it will) or any other ill feelings, go back to the journal to remind you of what made you feel better. Over time, that feeling won't be just a feeling but, indeed, a natural thought-or knowledge-to you. Hope this makes sense to you...

Father, protect the bullied that they may let go and live. Father, teach the bullies that they may learn from their mistakes. Amen.