Dead Weight

There are some people I'm really glad to have out of my life. I call them "dead weight". I've tried to be friends, I've been there until I couldn't give anymore of myself. Yes, it was tough: missing meals, giving up money, listening to them complain (not vent, but complain) until the wee hours of the morning. Enough is enough. I, too, get tired of being everyone's angel and being there for them. Most often, these same people have proven NOT to be there for me. Frankly, I'm sick of it! Did you hear me--just sick of it!!!! So, I've come to a resolution to put me first. If they can't handle it, they should be in prayer for themselves. You may ask "why is she acting like that?" My reply (even though I know you should not answer a question with a question) "Why are you being selfish and only thinking of yourself?" I deserve better.

At first, I thought about the title "dead wait" because some of us wait to see if the situation gets better, if the person with the issues is going to change. Change does not seem to come at all. So, not only is the person holding you back, but you're losing time in your own life...

If I tell you I don't want to do something, don't ask why. Respect my decision. If I ask you to do something you don't want to do, just say so--don't give me an attitude about it or "lip". There's no reason for all the drama. Address me the way you'd like to be addressed. Respect me as your equal, not as your servant. Good luck being without me: carefully deal with the situation yourself before call/drag someone else into it. In essence, what happened to giving it to God? I can finally stand and do for me instead of being weighted down by troubles, ignorance, doubt, defeat, deceitfulness and greed.

To my true friends, get ready for new adventures, new sights and new smiles.
God, thank you for this day and all else you've given me. Thank you for helping me to realize, I do and can come first.

Fighting the good fight...

Sometimes the best way to fight is silently. There are times when your voice will need to be raised and feathers ruffled, but there are times when just a look or a quick prayer while the other party is speaking is all that's needed.

Consider that option and fight the good fight.

The Light...

Y'know I've found myself to be a very negative person. I do self evaluations every now and then, frankly I've found myself to be self-hating and not knowing how to get out of my own funk. When I found what I thought was a way out (via eating, conversing, hiding at home) I've found I was only covering and masking a necessary evil. I've often wanted to run away, tried suicide several times, and often cried about the darkness around me. I'm learning--I'm grateful to say--I'm learning that holding on means light is just around the bend. I can and will see the light if I just hold on. That hold may be to just a thread, but nevertheless, I'm still holding.

I'm also learning to let go and when to let go. This task proves to be impossible, but I'm learning to do it. (Lord knows if I can learn it, anyone can!!). If someone has hurt or even damaged you physically or your spirit--let them go. And the funny thing is, you don't have to tell them. Reveal your guarded heart to God and let Him take care of the rest. Over time, you'll see you've let go of that hurt and/or damage, but more importantly its let go of you.

Ease into the light: enjoy it, bask in it, let it show your glow. If we were to just immediately be immersed in the light, we'd be blinded, hot and bothered. While I know the light is coming (and I'm anticipating it), I'm finding my way through the dark...

Please Join Me...

I invite anyone who wants inspiration from a dedicated, loving Christian who just wants to make God overjoyed to please join my blog. Thanks for reading...

Just me.

So....like it's Friday night and I'm at home writing. Am I a killjoy? No, don't think so. I know I need rest and will allow my body to get what it needs. No kids, no husband--whatever will I do? I'll enjoy the quiet and peace, realizing that somewhere a mother is wishing to be me. From time to time, I do hangout and chill with my friends, but tonight it's just me. And frankly, I'm quite satisfied with that.

See, I'm learning that life is about being satisfied with what you have and also having the knowledge to know when to move on. Get ready for a bright, honest future full of possibilities and hope. Be happy, ready for the next big move, and remember to smile. Finally, remember to get some sleep--being satisfied requires energy, patience, a clear mind, and a true heart.

God, thank you. I'm happy, down right overjoyed and it all comes from You. Amen.

Room For Improvement

Allow yourself room for improvement. Nothing is perfect; nothing ever will be. Just relax and enjoy everything for what it is. The more you worry, the more you allow yourself to be put in a position and controlled. You're allowing yourself to be disillusioned and kept down. If you receive a bad grade, review the incorrect answers and find out why they're wrong. If you receive a bad work report, find out what you can do to improve your situation. Don't let the situation dominate you: get better, get stronger. Fight for what you truly want and believe. There's room for improvement.