The Cost

For those of you know actually know me, you know I'm cheap!! I mean, my name should be "Bird" I'm so cheap. Doesn't make any sense, but hey, take it or leave it. I always have been. I saw some things when I was younger that made me hold on to money and things of value, to cherish and have as much as I could. People who I loved more than I could understand life all of a suddenly left and it felt as if they left me--alone, completely alone. So, I adjusted--each and every time, over and over and over. Each time left me with more heartache because I'd truly given so much of myself.

I said all that to say: the past is most certainly the past. While I've had sad tears of torment and ignorance, I raised my head and glassy eyes with a new found self-respect for myself. The shaky voice of a frail girl is now the soul stirring voice of good woman who's found her self and is grateful and proud of the woman she's become and is continuously becoming. She is me: sassy, saved and most of all satisfied. But none of this came without a cost. I had to bare the brunt of pain, complete disrespect, wish lists of happiness only to feel like none of it was to ever come true. I kept my brain on the books, my mind on a positive future and one foot in front of the other. I was going to be okay; I am okay. Stilettos or barefoot, all is still good.